Early in my career, I had the opportunity to work at a number of schools that focused on student wellbeing and social and emotional health. On the surface, it looked like we did a lot to support student skill development in these important areas, through wellness weeks and lessons in advisory and ‘form-time’. But there was often a disconnect between the values and priorities we promoted to students and some of the ways in which other systems and structures at school operated. I saw this mismatch most acutely when it came to the way student discipline and behavior was handled. Shaming, punitive, one-size-fits-all approaches were common, instead of more child-centered approaches that focused on growth, learning, and restorative practices - approaches that would have aligned better with what we taught our students.

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The truth is simple but powerful: if SEL is going to thrive and feel authentic, it must be more than a curriculum or program. SEL must become embedded in all school systems, policies, and everyday rhythms of school life - it must be a whole-community approach. 

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As a leader in SEL-focused education, I’ve seen firsthand how transformational this alignment can be. When a school’s systems reflect its SEL vision, students don’t just learn about empathy or resilience — they experience it daily. 

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The Cost of Misalignment

When there’s a mismatch between what a school says it values and what its systems actually reinforce, students notice — and so do families and teachers.

Imagine a school that claims to prioritize student well-being but uses a behavior management system based purely on rewards and punishments. The result is cognitive dissonance: SEL becomes “something we say,” not “something we live.”

True alignment means making SEL the lens through which decisions are made and by which systems are designed and operated. 

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Portraits of Practice

In one school the IFSEL has worked with, the leadership realized that their vision of SEL couldn’t succeed if their hiring practices didn’t change. They rewrote job descriptions, reworked interview questions, and even trained hiring panels to prioritize candidates’ knowledge and experience teaching SEL. The result: new educators who didn’t just “buy in” to SEL — they lived it.

In another school, trips and service learning projects became a catalyst for deep SEL alignment. By bringing an SEL lens to these experiences, we open space for truly authentic and experiential learning. Students learn to prepare for these trips and service learning experiences, not just logistically, but also emotionally. ‘What are my hopes and concerns about this trip?’, ‘What can I do to support others?’, ‘What help can I offer?’. During these trips, students can deepen their experience through SEL-oriented reflective prompts and moments of appreciation and gratitude. And upon their return to school, deep reflection can help students process takeaways and integrate learning into their daily lives. 

These are just two examples of the many ways schools can address systems-alignment for SEL. Other systems to consider include:

• School Schedule/Timetable
• Recess/Playtime Supervision
• Digital Literacy
• Transitions: between spaces, between grades/years, and welcoming and saying ‘goodbye’ to community members
• Assemblies and Community Meetings
• Award Ceremonies
• Sports/Coaching
• Extra-curriculars and clubs
• Aftercare and the Bus

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Where to Start:

Alignment doesn’t happen by accident — it’s built through intentional steps:

1. Get clear on your SEL values: write your SEL vision statement to build shared understanding and common language.
2. Map your systems: Examine how policies, structures, and routines currently support (or undermine) SEL values.
   
3. Listen deeply: Use both quantitative data (surveys, incident reports, achievement data) and qualitative data (student, teacher, and parent stories) to understand the community’s real experiences.
   
4. Act courageously: Tweak, revise, or even dismantle practices that don’t reflect the vision. Build structures that do.
   
   

If we want SEL to be impactful and sustainable, it must be more than just a program or curriculum — it must be a way of life in schools. When systems and structures reflect SEL values, we don’t just teach students how to be good humans — we show them. Every day.

The future of education depends on this alignment — not as a buzzword, but as a living, breathing commitment to the kind of world we want our children to experience and continue to build.